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Keeping Up with the Fairer Sex Sexually

A common thought is that women have low libidos while a man’s sex drive is on alert and ready to go as a Marine waiting to deploy for war. But low libido in men is a much more common problem than previously thought. Gender stereotypes in this regard are beginning to disappear. In couples seeking counseling, as much as 40% of men complained about their significant others desire for sex being too much for them.

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Now, we can either go back in time and look at Paleolithic man and his role in procreation, basically to take sex when and how he desired it. Or we can look at modern man in the issues in modern society. We men thought we had it all figured out. Get in touch with our feminine side, talk more and listen better. Right? Wrong! We begrudgingly talked and listened more only to learn that isn’t enough to keep her satisfied. She wants more sex dammit! Who’d a thought it?
While some of us may be excited about this information, there is a catch. Oh she wants more sex all right, but she wants it her way. That means you have to kiss her neck, massage her back and shoulders and do all the little things you were supposed to figure out while you were “listening better.” Want to keep your relationship strong? These days it’s tough enough just to keep your relationship- period. Now I’m not saying sex is the most important component in keeping a relationship strong and happy. I am, however, saying it is an important form of bonding that has a give-and take mentality and application to keeping it healthy.

For the ladies, here’s a little insight into men

We will romance you to get you. If and when we fall in love with you we will still desire you, but we will fall prey to the dreaded comfort zone, and begin to change priorities (to our work in many cases). If we didn’t change we couldn’t support you in the way we want to. Sex would rule our lives and we’d get nothing else done. It’s not that you aren’t important any more, you are, but we tend to need a nudge to guide us at times with your oh-so-perfect communication skills (we do not need nagging!). Why do we need this nudge?I’ll be self-deprecating and say I/we are too stupid to recognize what you want until we are in the doghouse. But realize that we are lousy at guessing games so communicate clearly to us want you want us to know.
Going back thousands of years again to the Paleolithic age, man’s function and role was to provide and procreate. Can we apply ourselves and be more caring today than they were then? Of course, but periodically we may not take the initiative in the way you want us to at the times you want. So stop beating us up for it.In addition, since this is about a man’s declining appetite for sex, there a few things you need to know about a man’s hormones and how life style affects them and his sex drive. But also keep in mind some of the lifestyles I will address can affect females as well in an adverse way regarding sex.Modern day man for the most part is not fit, eats horribly, is stressed and takes some form of over the counter or prescription medication that influences his (or her) desire for sex. In the beginning of a monogamous relationship it is common, as it should be, to be hanging from the chandelier and having twice per day sex. Especially if the man is in his 20s or 30s and fit. Roughly from puberty to 40 a fit man will happily oblige whenever and however. And interestingly enough, we all have the ability to have sex until we are old and die, but as hormones decline so does the sex life. So if you are 45-year-old man with a new bride of 25, you may need assistance keeping up. I am not referring to just the first six months, but everything after that(well at least have fun trying!).

10 Common Factors That May Also Negatively Affect A Man’s Sex Drive

1.Medications
Antidepressants (SSRI-type) and antihypertensives (blood pressure medication) are often the culprit when a man has a lowered interest in sexual activity. These can also cause sexual dysfunction.
2.Lack of sleep
When a man is in his teens or twenties, the opportunity to have sex will often overwhelm the desire to sleep. This is often also true when a relationship is brand new. But as people and relationships age, sex can lose its compelling nature in comparison to a good night’s rest.
3.Hormonal levels
The most important physiological stimulant of sexual desire is testosterone.Low testosterone will suppress sexual desire. When a man is in his late 30’s and 40’s, he will often have less desire for sex. Some choose to look into hormone replacement therapy, but others do it the natural way. They exercise and eat well. Proper exercise will raise hormone levels and change sexual desire within a week or so (the same exercise and eating changes apply for females too).
4. Identity issues
Identity issues at work, the death of an important family member or friend or becoming disheartened about a formerly held strong belief, can all lead to questioning of his own sexuality.
5. Turn-off to aspects of sex
Some men will turn away from sex rather than have sex that is not fulfilling to them. Lack of fulfillment can be related to specific things the female does during sex, or it may just seem like too much “work.” He may have sexual interests that he knows or fears his partner may not like. Yes, ladies we know you have similar issues when the man does not turn you on, but this is about why a man’s libido is low.
6. Arguments or disagreements
Men, like women may shy away from sex when there is constant arguing.Men too may just plain refuse their partner’s advances.
7. Financial and family related stress
Loss of a job, trouble paying bills, challenges at work and parenting concerns can all have a huge impact on sexual desire.
8. Thinking of another
Fantasizing of another or thinking of his partner in different roles clothes and/or positions that she will not do. Or being afraid to ask.This comes back to effective communication.

9. Prolonged time between sex, fear of initiation
It can be awkward, almost like being with someone for the first time even though you have been together for months or years. This is a common cause of declining sexual frequency in couples. Couples therapy is strongly suggested in situations like this.
10. Difficulties functioning sexually
Many men who have an erection dysfunction (ED), or believe that they ejaculate too soon or too late (if at all), may avoid having sex. When a women’s desire for sex is not met, criticism, arguing or comments on his manhood exacerbate the situation.
Time, patience and learning how to address the problems will be your best bet. Together!

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